Sorry it has been so long since a blog. It's safe to say blogging is not my talent. I think this shows why I am not talented at much... because it's hard for me to stay focused long enough to dedicate myself to something.
On that note, so many things have happened since I blogged last. Lets start with the bowling alley. I am still working in the bar at the bowling alley. Excuse my humility here but, for the people that like a stiff drink... I am talented at bartending. Bartending has come easy to me. Being a cocktail waitress has not. In fact, I might be the worst cocktail waitress in the history of all cocktail waitresses. If I'm not spilling your drink on you, I'm giving you the wrong change. Nothing is more embarrassing than having to go back and correct the mistake. Last night a woman was telling her sob story (shes getting kicked out of her house because she doesn't have a job and can't pay for it... doesn't want to work because in her mind she is SO benevolent and thinks people need the job more than her......Nice rational thinking, lady) and asked me to get her a shot of Jose and told me to make her uncle pay. I bring the shot of Jose but she is nowhere in site. To avoid the awkward situation of telling her uncle he needs to pay for her drink... I paid for it. If it weren't for a 3 dollar tipper then next round I would have walked out of work in the negative on tips. Needless to say... waitressing is also not my talent.
There are many perks* for working at the bowling alley.... FREE BOWLING! I'm frequently asked "what's your average?" or "what are you bowling" or "Want to bowl a game when you get off" (this is followed by creepy winks). Here are the answers: 1. If I knew how to figure out a fucking average I wouldn't be working here (knowing how to figure out an average makes you like a CPA, right?!) 2. If I were actually bowling I would be bowling BALL, dummy! 3. No, I never want to bowl with you.
Here is a quick bowling lesson 1. 300= perfect game 2. tournament/league style bowling is freaking confusing after a pitcher of MGD. 3. It's a lot harder than it looks. When I bowl.... my score is usually 40-60... so yeah...... bowling sucks nor is it my talent.
Besides working at the bowling alley, I got myself a girlfriend. She is so cute. And I "came out" to my parents. And I got a Google Android Pride shirt (IT'S SO CUTE!). And... I've lost 35lbs (32lbs after the burrito I just ate from Mi Pueblo). Turned 25. Got a "BIG GIRL" job. AND gave big red an oil change.
I'll tell you more about those later!
* "perks at the bowling alley" should really just be a singular "perk"
Friday, August 12, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
7-10 Split
Sunday, sometime after Thanksgiving and before Christmas my friend Kelle and I were celebrating Sunday funday in our usual tradition with liters of champagne (pronounced: sham-pag-nee). After getting a quick champagne buzz we decided to go play pool, but we weren't feeling the traditional Vallejo dive bar scene, we headed to Kentwig Bowling Lanes instead.
We got there at about 5:45pm; the bar didn't open until 6. So we waited, played some hunting video games and smoked a cigarette. While we were waiting I saw a sign that said "NOW HIRING BARTENDERS AND COCKTAIL WAITRESSES" right next to the sign that said "CAUTION: MICROWAVE IN USE" and above the name of the bar, Candlewood Lounge. I turn to Kelle and say "hey, look, they are hiring. SAA-WEET!" We laughed it off, and played 5 Bud-heavy pitchers worth of pool games. The more drank we laughed about how funny it would be to work there. We inquired with the bartender and he gave us applications. There wasn't much to the application but the distinct question that sticks out in my mind is "HAVE YOU EVER BEEN BONDED FROM JAIL?" Well, of course we haven't, we will for-sho get this job.
The next morning, Kelle sent me a text, saying she starts work that night. Great, but where was my call. Being unemployed for so long takes a toll on one’s self-confidence. So, I sulk, and continue watching my Roseanne re-runs. I decide to go support Kelle on her first night and go have some a few drinks to console myself. Turns out the bartender didn't have a car; his phone was shut off, and didn't show up for work. Not great for him, but the next day I got the job!
The first thing you notice about the Candlewood Lounge is how "retro" it is. I hear people that come in for the first time always say "wow! It’s so retro. It's awesome" It’s retro because it hasn't been remodeled since it was built in the early 70's. The booths are a basil green color, a half-moon shape, and vinyl. We also have a gas fire place that really sets the ambiance. We also have the pool table with red chalk; you would be surprised how many complain about red chalk. I don't get what the big deal is. To "modernize" the bar the owners installed sets of disco lighting and a stereo system. It is a classy establishment to say the least.
My first night working, I was warned that league bowlers are a special breed of people. I never knew what they meant, but come to find out the regulars are VERY particular about how things are done. As a new cocktail waitress I was scrutinized until I proved myself. One customer, Dan orders Kahlua, club soda, 3 limes. Second round-- same glass, same limes, same ice. Third round-- same glass, add 4 cubes of ice, and one lime. Well, I know this now.... I was waiting on him during the Wednesday night league; I didn't take his glass for his second round, and brought him a new drink. After getting bitched out and being told I was incompetent, I took old glass and poured the new drink in it, and said "we can pretend this never happened" as I picked out the fresh limes. I don't know if i won him over because I was rude or my problem solving skills. Other league members tested me with napkin knowledge. I wish I could tell you how many times someone said "do you know why cocktail napkins are important?" I would respond "because you don't want balls to slip out of your hand?" "NO! Because of condensation, CONDENSATION!! The glass condensates and gets on the floor... someone could slip and fall!!" "Ok, great, here’s a napkin." The regulars are colorful people to say the least.
Saturday nights at the Candlewood Lounge are hit and miss. It can be crazy busy one Saturday but the next I will make more Shirley Temples than actual drinks. I usually catch up on Teen Mom or Celebrity Rehab on those nights. I was balls deep in Teen Mom, cursing Janelle for having a child and no sense of responsibility when an older woman came into the bar. I could tell she has had a hard life, smoked too much crack rock, and liked to party. I could barely understand her when she spoke through the few teeth she had. She sat at the bar and had 3 consecutive Jack Daniels shots. She must have felt a buzz quick because she asked to turn a blues radio station on. I do so because I’m a people please and I was slightly afraid of her. She got up and started dancing around the bar, picked up the pool stick and started gyrating on it. GAH-ROSS! She sat down and decided to drink Sloe Gin. She asked me “can I smoke in her?” I told her that you can smoke inside but she can go outside, and I would watch her drink. She was aggravated that she couldn’t smoke and drink at the same time, I sympathize with her. I left to go the dishes and when I turned around she was smoking by the fireplace “ummm…ma’am you can’t smoke in here. You need to go outside. I’ll watch your drink” “fuck these stupid laws I can do what I want!!” she yelled at me. I left quietly and asked security to escort her out. As security comes in she starts propositioning him, and declared when she was leaving but later she will smoke crack and drink at the same time. I haven’t seen her since, but I hope she’s ok.
The Sunday night league is my favorite. Since I started on a Sunday as a cocktail waitress I have really got to know them. The league is called Marihlika, it’s the Pilipino league. Our communication is not great, but they can say pitcher of MGD clearly. They refuse to drink out of pint glasses and demand small plastic Solo cups. They are one of my favorite leagues because they like to drink A LOT. They aren’t great tippers, but that is ok because on their fourth pitcher they start singing the Happy Birthday song. They sing with such fervent like one would sing their national anthem, and no one in particular… they just really like the song.
I have found working at the Candlewood lounge that there are three different types of people. There are the over tippers. They tip a ridiculous amount to either show off or to receive special treatment such as stronger drinks than the normal dollar/drink tipper. It works. I will go out of my way for you if you give me five dollars every time I open a beer for you or pour a vodka cran. There is the dollar per drink tipper. I consider a dollar/drink standard, it’s a really great way to say “thank you.” Finally, there is the guy that tips me with bootleg DVDs. I LOVE HIM. I saw True Grit before it hit theaters, I have almost every movie I could possibly want to see and some I don’t, like, Rob Dyrdek movie Street Dreams. I usually see him a few times a week; I am really hoping he has Hall Pass soon. I can’t wait to watch it.
The Candlewood Lounge is a great job. I am pretty talented at bartending if I do say so myself. I will start posting stories more often. I promise.
We got there at about 5:45pm; the bar didn't open until 6. So we waited, played some hunting video games and smoked a cigarette. While we were waiting I saw a sign that said "NOW HIRING BARTENDERS AND COCKTAIL WAITRESSES" right next to the sign that said "CAUTION: MICROWAVE IN USE" and above the name of the bar, Candlewood Lounge. I turn to Kelle and say "hey, look, they are hiring. SAA-WEET!" We laughed it off, and played 5 Bud-heavy pitchers worth of pool games. The more drank we laughed about how funny it would be to work there. We inquired with the bartender and he gave us applications. There wasn't much to the application but the distinct question that sticks out in my mind is "HAVE YOU EVER BEEN BONDED FROM JAIL?" Well, of course we haven't, we will for-sho get this job.
The next morning, Kelle sent me a text, saying she starts work that night. Great, but where was my call. Being unemployed for so long takes a toll on one’s self-confidence. So, I sulk, and continue watching my Roseanne re-runs. I decide to go support Kelle on her first night and go have some a few drinks to console myself. Turns out the bartender didn't have a car; his phone was shut off, and didn't show up for work. Not great for him, but the next day I got the job!
The first thing you notice about the Candlewood Lounge is how "retro" it is. I hear people that come in for the first time always say "wow! It’s so retro. It's awesome" It’s retro because it hasn't been remodeled since it was built in the early 70's. The booths are a basil green color, a half-moon shape, and vinyl. We also have a gas fire place that really sets the ambiance. We also have the pool table with red chalk; you would be surprised how many complain about red chalk. I don't get what the big deal is. To "modernize" the bar the owners installed sets of disco lighting and a stereo system. It is a classy establishment to say the least.
My first night working, I was warned that league bowlers are a special breed of people. I never knew what they meant, but come to find out the regulars are VERY particular about how things are done. As a new cocktail waitress I was scrutinized until I proved myself. One customer, Dan orders Kahlua, club soda, 3 limes. Second round-- same glass, same limes, same ice. Third round-- same glass, add 4 cubes of ice, and one lime. Well, I know this now.... I was waiting on him during the Wednesday night league; I didn't take his glass for his second round, and brought him a new drink. After getting bitched out and being told I was incompetent, I took old glass and poured the new drink in it, and said "we can pretend this never happened" as I picked out the fresh limes. I don't know if i won him over because I was rude or my problem solving skills. Other league members tested me with napkin knowledge. I wish I could tell you how many times someone said "do you know why cocktail napkins are important?" I would respond "because you don't want balls to slip out of your hand?" "NO! Because of condensation, CONDENSATION!! The glass condensates and gets on the floor... someone could slip and fall!!" "Ok, great, here’s a napkin." The regulars are colorful people to say the least.
Saturday nights at the Candlewood Lounge are hit and miss. It can be crazy busy one Saturday but the next I will make more Shirley Temples than actual drinks. I usually catch up on Teen Mom or Celebrity Rehab on those nights. I was balls deep in Teen Mom, cursing Janelle for having a child and no sense of responsibility when an older woman came into the bar. I could tell she has had a hard life, smoked too much crack rock, and liked to party. I could barely understand her when she spoke through the few teeth she had. She sat at the bar and had 3 consecutive Jack Daniels shots. She must have felt a buzz quick because she asked to turn a blues radio station on. I do so because I’m a people please and I was slightly afraid of her. She got up and started dancing around the bar, picked up the pool stick and started gyrating on it. GAH-ROSS! She sat down and decided to drink Sloe Gin. She asked me “can I smoke in her?” I told her that you can smoke inside but she can go outside, and I would watch her drink. She was aggravated that she couldn’t smoke and drink at the same time, I sympathize with her. I left to go the dishes and when I turned around she was smoking by the fireplace “ummm…ma’am you can’t smoke in here. You need to go outside. I’ll watch your drink” “fuck these stupid laws I can do what I want!!” she yelled at me. I left quietly and asked security to escort her out. As security comes in she starts propositioning him, and declared when she was leaving but later she will smoke crack and drink at the same time. I haven’t seen her since, but I hope she’s ok.
The Sunday night league is my favorite. Since I started on a Sunday as a cocktail waitress I have really got to know them. The league is called Marihlika, it’s the Pilipino league. Our communication is not great, but they can say pitcher of MGD clearly. They refuse to drink out of pint glasses and demand small plastic Solo cups. They are one of my favorite leagues because they like to drink A LOT. They aren’t great tippers, but that is ok because on their fourth pitcher they start singing the Happy Birthday song. They sing with such fervent like one would sing their national anthem, and no one in particular… they just really like the song.
I have found working at the Candlewood lounge that there are three different types of people. There are the over tippers. They tip a ridiculous amount to either show off or to receive special treatment such as stronger drinks than the normal dollar/drink tipper. It works. I will go out of my way for you if you give me five dollars every time I open a beer for you or pour a vodka cran. There is the dollar per drink tipper. I consider a dollar/drink standard, it’s a really great way to say “thank you.” Finally, there is the guy that tips me with bootleg DVDs. I LOVE HIM. I saw True Grit before it hit theaters, I have almost every movie I could possibly want to see and some I don’t, like, Rob Dyrdek movie Street Dreams. I usually see him a few times a week; I am really hoping he has Hall Pass soon. I can’t wait to watch it.
The Candlewood Lounge is a great job. I am pretty talented at bartending if I do say so myself. I will start posting stories more often. I promise.
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