Acid Flashbacks

I always heard "if you drop acid you will have flashbacks for the REST OF YOUR LIFE," I disagree. The only flashbacks I've had is wanting to go back when I was dropping acid. Acid is so much fun. College was so much fun. I have really missed college lately. Everyone talks about how crazy there college years were. I read the book "I hope they serve beer in hell," it was ok, funny sometimes, but the whole time I thought the guy was a grade A d- bag. The premise is about banging different chicks and using daddies money to get hammered, it is funny for three chapters after it gets old. Which I guess happened to my friendship group after '07-08... all the drugs and drinking got old. Although, I'm still friends with everyone, it wasn't like it used to be. People moved on, started doing different things, which is ok. Because when you party like we did for an extended period that is how you end up meeting Jeff VonVonderen on Intervention. Alas, I wish I could go back for a weekend, but until I can hop into the Delorean I'm stuck with my memories.

On that note, this is what I do these days: Sit on the couch and watch TV. I found myself excited over the new "What Would You Do" on Friday. This episode John Quinones asks "what would you do if you saw doctors getting drunk before an emergency call?".... good question John.. what would I do? I would probably scope out if they are lesbian lovers, because my dream lover would be a doctor. For obvious reasons: women who save people are hot. I digress, the point is... I'm bored. After softball ended I feel like I have no meaning to my life again. But there is always a light at the end of a tunnel, I was accepted to Solano Community College!!! Thats right, IM GOING TO COMMUNITY COLLEGE! I am so excited. I really want to get good grades this time around. I'm going to get a lunch box, a five star binder, and a new backpack! I unfortunately have to retake classes that I fucked up my last couple of years in college. Like English 102... I took that class fucking 3 times and, still couldn't get a good grade.Probably because I reused all my papers and never read the material. So that's happening....

I was watching something on VH1 about Asher Roth, you remember our friend. The one hit wonder, middle class white boy? No? It's ok not many people do. Here is the video link in case you need a reminder: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYx7YG0RsFY. After hearing this song, it got me thinking, I MISS COLLEGE. Asher Roth was completely right, because life after college sucks hairy balls. I wrote my own little ditty that we song after college.

I Miss College
That SVU last night was awfully crazy I wish I taped it
I did my laundry so I don’t go to work completely naked
Drank a glass of wine and pet my cat watch DWTS while I get fat
Pass out at 10 wake up at 7 drink my coffee then do it again
Man, I miss college

Real life makes me want to go to college for the rest of my life
Watch 20/20 and dateline every night
Do Thursday spin class and Tuesday cardio light
Eat pizza while friends watch the Paquiao Fight

So drink a glass of wine, while I lay supine
Dinner on the table, you want what?
I’m a champion at The Office Trivia
Steve Carrell , Rain Wilson

Don’t come over unless you bring a dish, to share
You better hope everyone likes it or you’ll get the death stare
Time isn’t wasted getting well rested
Woke up today and all I could say is…

That SVU last night was awfully crazy I wish I taped it
I did my laundry so I don’t go to work completely naked
Drank a glass of wine and pet my cat watch DWTS while I get fat
Pass out at 10 wake up at 7 drink my coffee then do it again

Man, I miss college, ay!
And I miss drinking, ay!
I (still) love women, ay!
Man, I miss college

It's that time again......

WHOA, I'm back! It has been months since my last blog. So long that I didn't remember my last postings. It's hard to channel creative energy when your busy. Don't look so shocked... I HAVE BEEN BUSY! No, I haven't just been napping and living a life a luxury like most unemployed people do... I have been giving back to my community and ya know.... things.

The goal for this blog is to try different things and eventually find something that I'm good at, or actually like doing. For the past year and a half I have been searching for my niche in life. Its not an easy task. Although my plan was to try manual labor, different creative projects, and things that I should know how to do anyway (i.e, fix a flat tire or go normal on a first date). I failed because I didn't actually do anything I was planning on. I was not made for hard labor or anything domestic. If you remember, my first plan of attack was to paint my sisters old bedroom. Here is a recap on how that worked out: I patched half a wall. I also tried to fix a hole in my partigan* and it was fixed until I washed it and it was the holy (yes it is holy) partigan again. This blog hasn't gone the way I intended it to go, but I have done some positive things I would like to share with you in a picture blog.

In this time off from writing I have...

Coached a middle school softball team. IT WAS AWESOME! This, by far, is the best thing I have done in years. I realized that I could see myself working with kids, which has encouraged me to go back to school. I finally figured out what I could do with my life because of my bad news bears softball team. On the other note my talent in NOT field maintenance.

This was my first time.... not great as you can see.


This was my second time. Apparently, in slowpitch softball there aren't supposed to be pitchers circle. You can't tell but this circle is about 3/4th of the infield.


Practice makes perfect, my friends. Although the season ended before I actually did a good job lining the field... there was a lot of improvement.



Here are some other things I have been doing these past couple of months.....

Snuggling in my snuggie. Tenderoni may look like he wants nothing to do with me or the snuggie, he is actually very fond of the snuggie. He likes that my hands are free to pet him at his discretion.


I did a puzzle.


I drew pictures of peni (that islatin for lots of penis).


I drank a canned drink popular amongst college students. Four Loko. You will be drunk after a sip and yes, grape flavor is the best.


I sat in the park and sang the full house theme.



And of course I drank.......


and drank.....



drank some more....



and then drank...........



My promise to you, my dear followers.. I promise to blog in a timely manner and most importantly, I promise to never be sober on a Saturday.

PEACE BITCHES!

*partigan: the cardigan I party in